her story

Perfectly her isn’t so perfect, but rather confident, strong, determined, resilient, and most importantly perfectly me.

As I sit here writing my first post, I would reminisce if I didn’t start by taking you on a journey of why tell my story, and why in the world a blog. Perfectly her came about a little over four years ago. Yes, four years ago. I had just been rear-ended literally but also by life and was in recovery mode.  I’ll save the details for another day related to the recovery aspect of my journey, but it was because of this that I was sitting in my therapist’s office. During this time, we were walking through the events that led up to, truly one of the most defining aspects of my life. This is when I realized that due to the established templates to survive these circumstances, I guarded my heart and most importantly my story to just about everyone. While I do think you guarding your heart is healthy, you don’t need to stonewall your tribe. For my tribe that is reading this, I can’t thank you enough. You are patient, kind, and I love you dearly. 

As I sat on the couch, I said to her that not one person knew the extend of what I had walked through in its entirety. Yes, some knew pieces and others were smart enough to put some pieces together, but I had never been forthcoming with the entire story. When I was forthcoming with pieces, it was very surface level, or I deflected to talk about them. Truly it’s a skill, it’s like let’s flip the question you are asking me and reverse the conversation as quickly as possible. 

My therapist was baffled at the notion that not one person knew every season and challenged me to bring my dearest people up to speed. I wasn’t afraid to tell my story; it was more I didn’t allow the circumstances to define me and to slow down long enough to do so rang the anxiety hotline. When I would share, many reactions resulted in therapist sessions for themselves to unpack what they just heard, complete shock and being consoled which was not received fully because I was so far removed from that reality.

 Life is truly not what happens to us, but what we make of it, and before I go further, just know that you too can be a victor, not a victim but there is a healthy way to process and not junk what occurred like I did for so long. The beautiful thing about recovery and life is it’s always a mosaic, a paradox, a constant struggle to build, make better, recover, try again, and keep going. It’s a never-ending push and pull against the forces of circumstances, but we do have a choice on how to respond. 

As the challenge was heavy on my heart, I decided to begin writing my story and I would house it on a blog, and I would give access to the story when I felt it was time.  This allowed for a smooth transition to give access but not slow down every time it was necessary. So perfectly her came about and well, here I am writing my first post four years later and totally not how I planned. My heart shifted throughout the years, circumstances occurred, and I can confidently tell you that I have shared many aspects of my story, if not all of my story to my tribe. It’s has been heavy on my heart in this season to revisit perfectly her and begin to give full access to you, whomever you are, so you too can see the beauty of the transformation in my life and seek it for yourself. 

My purpose for perfectly her is simple, to tell my story. Whatever is cultivated through simply that will be so special to me. So buckle up, I have no idea what I am doing but I do know it’s going to be an amazing journey of growth and transformation for me, and maybe you too! 

Until next time, if you are reading this, know that you are loved.

XOXO,

perfectly her//@mallllyssa